I recently went to a conference and was honored to hear Teacher Tom speak. He explained that the feeling of play is hard to define. It’s sort of like defining love. I believe play makes me feel warm and fuzzy. My heart feels full and overflowing with happiness. I feel complete, unhindered; free. My favorite memories include those times where no adult is around. I’m with my friends biking around our neighborhood. I was 12 when I finally chose to stop gymnastics. I was completely free. Free of school and sports. My friends and I loved the movie, “Now and Then”. It’s a coming of age story about a group of girls in the 60’s. We idealized this movie and would bike all around town singing the soundtrack. I often felt as though we were recreating the movie somehow; hopping from house to house, biking downtown, then the beach. We would talk for hours about life. Previously I hadn’t had the space to do such things, so these memories are very dear to me and quite honestly those experiences shaped my self identity.
Play is defined as, self chosen, creative,imaginative and intrinsically motivating. These past 4 years we unschooled our kids. We felt as though they weren’t having a childhood full of play opportunities. So, we joined a center where other kids were allowed to play all day. We wanted them to have a true childhood.
Harry, my middle child, recently told me about one of his favorite experiences while playing at the center. He would spend many hours playing outside. Below is the interview between him and I.
Me: Tell me about your time in the forest.
Harry: ““We like it at Tanglewood best because it’s very spacious. There’s lots of space to build there. There's also this really beautiful cherry blossom tree there which is next to a river and all the petals fall off of the tree and fall into the river and it’s so pretty!”
We made a shed in Tanglewood. There’s a bunch of big willow vines and they are tangled up everywhere. One looks just like a square and we put some sticks over it and slanted diagonally so it looks like a shelter. The first prototype got blown down. So we made a new support design. We found little triangles with slits and they wrap around each other so it’s more stable. We hammer little slits into the willow vines and stick it in there. Then we lay all the big tree branches that act as walls. Then we put mud and stick and leaves on the walls for insulation. The flooring we use this soft white fluffy stuff and lay it down like straw. “
“There’s also Wildwood. Wildwood is where people built a pool by a river that runs through it. It flows down and empties into a big ditch. When it rains it gets really full. We made a plank bridge that goes across it. It’s been there for 5 or 6 years. It still works well. We were thinking of making a water wheel to generate power. “
Me: “How do you go about figuring out how to create your clan?
Harry: We make it with the bare essentials. We have a wood cutting station and a fire station.”
Me: “Are there adults helping you?”
Harry: “No, they know we are there, but they don’t help us make it”
Me: “Tell me about the fire station”
Harry: “At first we tried rubbing sticks together. Then we rolled a stick between our hands acting like a drill and that didn’t work. Then we started using other materials. We used the bottoms of bottles. We used a magnifying glass. If you put it up to the sun it makes a concentrated beam of light and makes it hot. It burned some leaves. It worked. It made fire. Then we just stomped it out because we aren’t allowed to make a fire in the middle of the woods.”
I learned there is a vast world created by kids. Knowledge about the clans has been passed down and over time has become a complex world where only the children truly understand it. It reminds me of the “Hundred Acre Wood" or “Little Rascals”. According to many experts, like developmental psychologist Peter Gray and others, historically and biologically kids are built to play this way in order to prepare themselves for the real world.
Think about it, kids had hours of uninterrupted time to play outdoors. Kids governed themselves, had to be cooperative, creative and problem solve. As a result they built resilience and learned a lot about themselves in a self directed way. All of it was also self chosen; intrinsic by nature. No one is coercing them to learn how to be cooperative, they are simply doing it because they want to. That kind of learning cannot be taught. He’s also learned that he does not need to rely on an adult to make his ideas happen! Kids are capable, smart and strong all on their own. We just have to give them the opportunity to be free to think for themselves.
When Harry found out that he wasn’t going to return to the center, he was initially very sad, but one thing he made clear; he’s going to miss playing in the forest with his friends. I understood how important and special that time was for him, so I told him I would record his stories. These are his childhood memories. They are a part of him, and I hope he will look back and have that warm, fuzzy, unhindered feeling of freedom as I did in mine.
